Saturday, January 27, 2007

Movie Review: Salaam-e-Shit

We couldn't even bear to stay past the intermission of Salaam-e-Ishq.

All the 12 star-cast in this Love Actually rip-off film are annoying. Not much was expected from the likes of Ayesha Takia, Sohail Khan or Anjana Sukhani (who is she anyway?), but even Salman Khan, Akshaye Khanna and Priyanka Chopra are disgracefully annoying in the film.

Vidya Balan, the best actress in the film, could have given it some hope but is linked to John Abraham, the worst actor in the film, and is put into a coma right in the beginning.

Not to mention that they all look their worst in this movie. Vidya Balan looks fat, and John Abraham's ultra-poker straight hair is all you see. You can see Ayesha Takia's blackheads and a scar on her upperlip that is in more focus than anything else. Priyanka Chopra is not the glam girl I thought she would be on screen, Soheil Khan is just ugly and Salman Khan you just want to slap.

Ishaa Koppikar is the hottest but hardly has a role, and Juhi and Anil Kapoor actually look ok for their age.

The only exception was Govinda. He is awesome. He stays true to his reputation of really knowing how to make the dummest thing look genuinely funny. He is complemented by his onscreen American girlfriend Shannon Isra - who is a gori (white-chick) in a Hindi blockbuster who, for a change, can actually act. Or maybe our actors surrounding her in the film were so crap, that she was tolerable.

The script is awful, the scenes tried too hard to be funny. I laughed a lot, but at the film and at the people laughing with the film rather than at the film. More amusing than anything were the English subtitles. The movie name is translated to 'love's sweet salute,' need I say more?

The music is the only saving grace. Great songs and the full-of-energy dance sequences are actually fun to watch.

As much as I was interested to see how all the 6 couples get 'connected through fate and love', I decided that reading the ending would be less excruciating than sitting through another two hours of absolute crap.
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