I hate tourists. But I am one of them!
After spending the last 3 months in Spain, I am realising how deep the difference is between visiting a place and living in a place. Yes the difference is obvious to every moron, but experiencing it is a whole different story. I am really seeing Spain the way it should be seen.
I feel at home here. I feel like a local. I say to myself ' bloody tourists' when I see them. I don't want to communicate with people from outside Spain. The Carmen is my Barrio. The people here are my friends. I wake up every morning wanting to go to my coffee shop. I pretend I understand everything when I read the local newspaper in Spanish! I want to be able to speak fluently - my Spanish still gives me away.
I didn't like going back to being a tourist even when I went to Barcelona a few weeks ago. And I wonder if I will ever want to be a tourist again? After this, I rather take time off and live in another country than just visit it for a few weeks. It seems a waste to going anywhere for just a few weeks now. Hmmm.
But living like this - hopping countries for extended periods of time, chilling out and just being - is easier said than done. But possible.
In Spain, I feel like I am living. A much needed break. A break that is not yet allowing me to think beyond. Do I really need to think beyond? Can I just go with the flow?
What is it that I want to do with my life? Do I really need to know?
We read a poem in class today, it's by Nadine Stair - something the she thinking when she is 85 years old, lying on her death bed.
Although it's in Spanish, here are some extracts , that I have attempted to translate:
"If I could have a new life...I would not try to be perfect, would relax a bit more. Would be a bit silly and not take things so seriously. I would take more risks, travel alot more, enjoy more sunsets and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice-cream and less cabbage. I would not waste time worrying about imaginary problems. I wouldn't always carry my thermometre, bottle of water and parachute everywhere I go. I would walk bare foot..."
This poem really hit me when I read it. Put things into perspective. You can find the full poem in Spanish here.