Thursday, September 04, 2008

Is the Western dating system flawed?

Excerpt from Marrying Anita, by Anita Jain:
"For years, I never questioned the Western dating system. The tenets on which it rests seemed perfectly sound: after meeting a man or woman through work or friends, one gets to know him or her, and if one likes what one sees, one continues to deepen the commitment, which sometimes leads to marriage. What surprises me now is how much this system leaves to chance encounter, to a kind of fate or fortune. For a decidedly unmystical society that seems to have the answer for everything else -- the best medical care, cutting-edge technology, superhighways, and space shuttles -- it seems odd that people are left to their own resources, casting around for another lonely soul, for what is arguably the most important decision of their lives."

Just for the record: I'm not reading this book and nor do I want to go to India to find myself a husband. I still believe in marrying for love (if at all!), or not.

My mum is thrilled that I read this piece and I think it's a thought provoking read. Marriage -- whether arranged or love, is a gamble. So I don't believe that you must get married for the sake of it and that in the long term you will be thankful, because marriage is not the foundation for your life, nor is it the solution to save you from a lonely existence. A good marriage or relationship should be a bonus in your life, which incase you don't have, you will still be fine.

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