That phase

"There are so many people who get up in the morning with a vacant feeling, with no enthusiasm for life," - Vikram Hazra, The Tribune, Chandigarh.

This kind of sums up what I have been feeling the last couple of weeks. To be clearer, I do have a great enthusiasm for life, but I feel not for the things that matter.

Us 'suits' in corporate jobs that reap profits know that what we do is meaningless and shallow; just another means to an end. Earning money to live life to the fullest. But do we? what is living life to the fullest? Working your ass off and earning well to have a nice house, a car, a mobile phone; to be able to travel in time off, to be able to afford nice dinners, clothes and entries to nightclubs - ughhhhh, this is not it.

My recent encounter with a very old friend, Vikram Hazra, I think kind of made me put my thinking cap on. Ex-engineer/journalist today spends his life travelling cross-continent helping people. "..Make rural society self-sufficient and empowered. Giving lessons in organic farming, educating villagers and providing health service." Establishing schools, leading the Youth Leadership Training Programme in West Bengal that targets the educated unemployed youth, spreading smiles and reinforcing faith to those lost. And, he is the happiest and most contented person (seemingly), I have met in a looooooong time. And he radiates his joy.

It is so refreshing to meet people like Vikram once in a while. Since he is a friend, his life has a significant impact on me.

Yes I am at that phase where I am feeling hollow and shallow and worthless about my life. Not depressed, just empty. I'm doing extremely well at my job, am called a 'natural' at PR especially because of my gift of the gab (aka being able to talk rubbish). But whats the point?
I have always known that there is alot more to life. But recently it has been hitting me more than usual. What am I doing about it? Nothing. Which just makes it worse.

I am in that 'I want to make a difference' phase. Surely my gift of the gab can be put to better use. Don't laugh and scoff or roll your eyes. Guess I should only continue to blog on this once I've done something about it.