Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Zoned Out

My third last day at work. What a drag! It's pretty pathetic to be in the office, with no sign of life on your table, and nothing to do. Have never really had time to breathe in the office; now it's just breathing and more breathing. I guess the glory of doing nothing serves as taking a 'well deserved' break when you are busy; otherwise it's just darn boring.

Have been noble and asked people if they need help, have had 6 coffees, lunch and a snack already. You look at your watch thinking 'its been a while' when its only been 10 minutes. Want to sneak home, but my conscience won't allow me.

I also feel like the invisible person. Everyone talks across me, not to me. Work issues have nothing to do with me anymore, so to talk about them is not the same. In fact, its like all of a sudden things are confidential.

My phone doesn't ring and I'm not getting email anymore. I have cleared my desk, and organised everything alphabetically.

Have spent time with most people I've wanted to. Everyone else seems waaaay to busy; it's like I'm wasting their time and thats the last thing I want to do. So my life feels like its on a standstill, while the rest of the world is still running around like crazy.

Even when I call friends, no one has time to chat, they're 'busy at work', what about when I was working? I still called them then - they always made time. It's probably because they know I've started bumming around, and they can call me later.

So yeah, I'm zoned out. My mind is clear, I'm well rested, I don't care about the next press conference or next strategy presentation. Now that I'm out of things, I'm already looking at what I did, differently. And I have great anticipation and excitement about what's up for me next.

Guess I'll know very soon. Need to get the next two days over first!

Monday, April 24, 2006

Just blog it?

Since I have started blogging, personal emails to close ones have stopped. I have actually started using my emails for necessary correspondence only. Some friends might be relieved that I don't write them intricate details of my life anymore.

Yesterday I wrote an email to a friend V, after a long time. I had no news, no gossip, hadn't bought anything, or done anything remotely interesting. Yet I wrote him about 30 lines. And I noticed that I actually miss being so open and uninhibited when writing. I wrote absolute crap in that email, it was meaningless and not required at at all, but I enjoyed writing it (he just had to bear reading it! as long as the 'delete' command exists in his email function - its all good :). It was my way of communicating with someone without worrying about being judged.

Blogging has curbed my freedom of expression. When I blog, I always think of what other people will think of what I'm writing. That goes against the whole purpose of a blog. A blog is a person's opinion about anything under the sun - and the minute you start tailoring your opinion, or restricting it, fun is lost.

Perhaps its because my blog is not anonymous, I'm a bit weary. But anonymity and transparency don't go hand in hand.

Perhaps it's because my day to day thoughts do not revolve around earth shattering issues, what they do revolve around primarily is my life, and the people in it. Subsequently, I do not want to post anything on this space that is open to the whole world - that might offend anyone, or seem like back-biting or like I don't have the balls to say it out loud, so I'm posting it on my blog.

I don't know what it is. Perhaps I don't want my blog to be my daily diary - open to everyone. Perhaps I'm realising that I am quite a private person, and do not want strangers delving into intricacies of my day to day existance.

I like that I have realised this. I can now resume my nonsense emails, and blog at the same time - big difference. Perhaps now I can give my blog a bit of a definition as well.

Yes blogging is a great way of keeping in touch, and keeping those who care updated. If you can be an open book to the whole world, be it. But if you do want to keep some of your 'ridiculousness' for a few - thats cool too.

Guess I'm not capable of 'just blogging it'.

Friday, April 21, 2006


While half of Dubai was preparing for Robbie William's orgasms, I was watching Shankuntala - a rock opera. This Kevin Oliver production was one of the best I have seen. About 30 odd talented singers and dancers enacted this 2- hour long epic, through 22 wonderful songs.

You know how you watch something that is so emotive - you have this constant strain in your mind; a strain that is just waiting to burst into a tear or a smile? that's how I felt throughout. But I'm generally sensitive when it comes to live performances, I just love them - and really get engrossed.

What a magnificent performance by each and every cast -for some of which this was their first performance.
I found it amazing how they communicated excitement, love, pain, anger and happiness so accuratley through song and dance.

Also, the lights, sets and costumes were just brilliant - what attention to detail. I felt so rewarded watching this - I can't even imagine how rewarding it must feel to have been part of its production. It took Kevin about 10 years to perfect this musical. When I saw him on the way out, I wanted to give him a big hug - but restrained to a handshake :)

Anyway, if you live in Dubai and are free over the next 5 days - a must see.

Only in India

My cousin got hooked with a girl while we were in India, earlier in January. We have grown up with the girl, obviously with no idea she would be my bhabhi one fine day. This is typically a specialty in India: parents love to see their children, who have played in bathtubs together when they were 3, get married. "Why not!?" you will hear them say, "they know each other soooo well!" No shit.

Anyway, today was supposed to be their engagement - but guess what, they decided to get married instead! The decision was made around 6pm yesterday.

How ideal, I thought. No hangama, no drama, no 1 year wedding prep for a 4 day wedding, no stress, no bankruptcy; a small, 4 hour wedding was on the cards - something so rare in India.

But guess what: with 12 hours of notice, 110 family members still managed to make it to the wedding. I could'nt believe it! So much for a small wedding. We were the only close family who weren't there. Everything went smoothly. Everyone is happy. The newly-weds should be off on their honeymoon soon.

There are two findings here:
-We don't have to go OTT to have a good wedding in India
-Small weddings in India are impossible

I'm still going to try to pull of f a registered marriage - I don't mind eloping if I have to. Everyone will be informed about it, post wedding. Will celebrate with a BBQ on the beach!

If I ever get married, that is.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Failure to launch

Please fail to watch this movie.

Questions questions

Will I get my visa so I can go to Spain?
Will I teach English in Spain like planned or will I land up working in a bar?
Will I make my way to Mexico or Peru after Spain?
Will I stay in PR after Spain?
Is PR my true calling?
Will I ever realise my true calling?
Will my dancing improve? Will I ever perform?
Will I ever be part of an NGO?
Will I help produce a feature film?
Will I come back to Dubai?
Will I work for Lonely Planet?
Will I work for Channel V?
'Where do I see myself in 2 years?': Will I ever be able to answer this question?

Celebrity impact

Yesterday I watched Aamir Khan on TV for almost an hour, as he demonstrated his support to Medha Patkar's Narmada Bachao Andolan (Save the Narmada Revolution).

So as 3 activists are almost unconscious from the hunger strike they have been on for the last 16 days; I gave thought to their peaceful protests only when I saw Aamir Khan, an actor who is known more for his box office film hits than his concern for the lives of people in rural India. Quite pathetic huh. The pictures of activisits slain by starvation and dehydration were not enough for me to care about their cause.

Media coverage on this issue was splashed across all print and TV media, thanks to the mere presence of the film fraternity.

Well, I guess it's all good - the Narmada Bachao Andolan got some more, much deserved air time. But they should have got it anyway.

Maybe it was a publicity stunt for Aamir; maybe his role in Rang De Basanti inspired him to be part of something real and make a difference. Who knows. Who cares. The ends justify the means ay.

I look forward to the day when I will wake up not needing a hotshot celebrity to get me to listen intently to human issues around the world.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Jay Kay Say?

Jamiroquai. Funky hat, funky moves, funky music. In concert - not funky enough.
Well, I have to admit - I know only 5 songs by the guy, but I really like them so thought it worth my time and money to watch him live. I yawned most the way through as I waited for him to play Virtual Insanity - WHICH HE DIDN'T! can you believe it? But he ended with Deeper Underground which shook up the audience; shame it was over after that.

Not very personable; no small talk - straight to the point. Very British :)
The plastic feather multicolour hat that he wore didn't change throughout and neither did he do his funny yet oh-so-cool dance steps.

I think the main reason I didn't have a rocking time at this concert was because I didn't know most of the songs he sang. And after a point - they all kinda sounded the same! Acid Jazz is what it's called apparantly.

On a separate note, I sold my Robbie Williams concert ticket (no I didn't make any money off it!) - and as much as I think it will be a superb concert, the trauma I foresee of getting to and out of the venue didn't seem worth it. All those who are going - enjoy, I hope he turns up! :)

Friday, April 07, 2006

The cat's out of the bag!

I have resigned from my job. And it's now official so I can blog my heart out :)

Almost 5 years (yikes) with The Holding Group (Y&R, Intermarkets, Asda'a and Polaris!) have been extraordinary, but its time to move on before I become part of the furniture :)

Plans are to move to Spain for a year. Learn Spanish, teach English and dance salsa (yes they do salsa in Spain!). I have enrolled in don Quijote language school, Valencia branch - where I plan to spend atleast 6 months (Valencia is known to have the hottest salsa scene in Spain; made my decision very easy :)

While I'm there I plan to do my TEFL aswell - and see where all this takes me. Why Spain you may ask? well, ideally I'd like to be in South America. But going there from Dubai isn't easy as there are no embassies here - except Argentina; and that wasn't a country on my priority list. Wanted Latin culture, Spanish and salsa. Spain was my next best option. There are loads of Latin immigrants in Spain I am told, so it kinda hit the right spot for me.

Also, the school I am joining has transfer options to Mexico and Peru, so who knows where I will be in six months! A wise man once said to me there are three things you should never change at once: job, country and language - it's a recipe for disaster. Guess I'll find out first hand what this is a recipe for! :)

My main source of inspiration has been the Transitions Abroad portal that opened my eyes to every dream life option possible. It also sites articles by people who have done what you want to do and have changed their life in many ways.

I am extremely excited to change my entire life for a while. Needed a break from Dubai, from PR, from everything that has become so familiar to me that I can't stand it anymore. I'm looking at this break as a study break, but it actually goes beyond study. I have been lacking personal development for a while now, so I'm taking this plunge to grow a bit, discover things about myself, experience a new culture, travel and pick up a language. With all this unconventional value added, I look forward to see what doors are opened.

I have never been to Spain and do not know anyone there. But thats part of the fun. I do have a little knot in my stomach though. If I get my visa on time, I should be out of here May 7.

I can't wait!
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